Back to work

So, back to work... Nice of my boss to come and sit over me to make sure I put the time I had off as holiday, I guess there's no SOP on friends committing suicide.

J's parents have been in touch with work and everybody has been informed. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's nice everybody around (his old department) me knows what's gone on but it kind of effects my own personal grief. I went to empty his desk out and found it had already been done. This upset me, I was his close friend so saw it as my duty to sort stuff like that out, a bit of closure I suppose. There's a few people on site who hadn't heard and were also friends so I've had the job of informing them... Somehow I feel guilty having to tell people. I've suddenly realised there's some right arseholes on site; Asking me if I knew which bloke had killed himself, even after I've explained he wasn't just some bloke and I didn't want to talk about it they'v estill insisted on having more info.

J's parents keep emailing work with details and some extracts from his notes. I spent days wondering if he left me a note, wondering why he hadn't even so much as left me a "Happy Birthday" :/ Had he fallen out with me for interfereing, had I just not meant that much to him (he'd known all his other mates for years and years). Eventually last night I got a text saying that his parents want to meet me and that there is something about me.